Desire to Write

I *am* a writer. I really, really am. An aspiring novelist/author, yes, but already I am a writer. And it drives me nuts.

I want to write all the time. Writing feels good! When I see things that other people have written, people with less skill than I have (I’m sorry, but such people do exist!) I cringe, and I want to fix it. Not fix what they’re saying; I have the utmost respect for what they’re saying. I want to fix how they’re saying it. Of course, you can’t really go around fixing everything that people write without offending them, so that’s frustrating. And then there’s the writer’s block.

Actually, I dislike the term “writer’s block,” but I guess it gets the point across. You know what’s worst? The intensity and frequency of my writer’s block seems to increase as I age! I guess that as I get older I get more particular and self-conscious about my writing and what’s “worth” being made public. That’s frustrating, too.

I think I’ve just thought of my second New Year’s Resolution. I can’t determine to blog every day, but I can determine to write every day. I think I shall make that resolution number two. If not a blog, then a journal entry, or working on one of my stories or Marty’s stories, or 750 words. something, some writing, every day.

Happy 2013!

Happy New Year from Michy & Tumbles!It’s the beginning of a new year. I’ve moved back in with my parents (as of last night) yet again. Wait for a second because I need to count on my fingers. Yup, this makes the 4th time I’ve moved back in with my parents in my adult life, if you want to be technical about it. Just over a week ago, I moved out and into my RV. Why, then, you may ask, did you move back in with your parents? Yeah; it’s complicated. I’ll have to address that at a later time.

Anyway, it’s the beginning. A new beginning. A fresh start. I’m here, but I don’t have to stay here. The funny thing is that it’s just another day, and I find myself wondering why it matters that the calendar says it’s a new year. But it does matter. Even though I know it’s just another day and think that it is silly to feel different on this day, it does matter. There is just something about the freshness of a new year. We’ve never experienced 2013 before. Maybe that’s it. We’ve experienced Tuesdays. Lots of Tuesdays. And we’ve experienced Januarys. But we’ve never experienced 2013. It’s new in a way that other days aren’t.

And that is probably why people tend to make resolutions. I never have been big on New Year’s Resolutions, but, I don’t know, I guess I feel different this year. I think I want to do it. So I chose my first “resolution” earlier this morning. I want to post a vlog for every day this year. It’s going to be challenging, frustrating, fun, and rewarding, I think. I’d like to resolve to post a blog every day, but I don’t think I would be able to follow through on that. Too many times, I get writer’s block with blogging because I feel like it has to be to a certain standard to be publishable. Not so with video blogs.

I’m thinking about what other resolutions I might make for the new year. What about you? What resolutions are you making or would you like to make (if you actually thought you could follow through)?

Furry Friday

I am not posting the Milspouse Friday Fill-In today because… I think the questions are meh. I think that’s why I stopped filling them in months ago! But I do have some other thoughts for you, and these thoughts include cute candids of adorable animals!

This Monday, I got an unexpected offer from a friend! She and her husband had gotten talked into taking a rabbit home from the pet store over the weekend, only to get home and realize they were not bunny people. They didn’t know what they were getting themselves into, and Marty and I were only too happy to take the bunny off their hands! Introducing Pumpkin, the 4 month old bunny. I’ve been told she is a Standard Rex, and she will probably grow up to twice as big as she is now.

pumpkin resting

I have much to learn still about caring for a rabbit, but she is happy and growing more comfortable with me every day, so I guess we’re doing alright for now! Many people do not realize that rabbits can live up to 10 years and sometimes longer! They can also be litter-box trained. Many rabbit-owners give their bunnies free reign throughout their house (after bunny proofing, to make sure nothing important or dangerous gets chewed up). Even if that’s not the case, rabbits need exercise and need to spend a good amount of time outside of their cages. They are not low-maintenance pets, so they are definitely not for just anyone, but it has really been a joy having Pumpkin here so far, and Marty can hardly wait to come home and meet her!

pumpkin and tumblesIf you’re wondering about how Tumbles handles sharing his home with a rabbit, have no fear! The hunting-instinct that made Tumbles such a threat to Birdy does not seem to be a problem with Pumpkin, mainly because Pumpkin is confident and willing to stand her ground against Tumbles rather than run away. In fact, Pumpkin often chases Tumbles, and they have a grand ole’ time! I’ve posted a couple videos of the two of them on YouTube.

Have you ever had a rabbit? What was your favorite or least favorite part of being a bunny-slave? What veggies did your bunnies most enjoy? Pumpkin seems uninterested in cucumber and only slightly interested in carrots, and I am slowly going to be introducing more and more options to her to find something she loves.

 

New Furniture and Bible Reading

I didn’t post the Bible Reading Plan for last week, so if you were trying to follow along, well… be comforted by knowing that I’m as behind as you are. Thankfully, this particular Bible Reading Plan has only 25 days of reading per month, so that should make it easy(-ish) to play catch-up.

Anyway, please forgive me for being so behind! I posted the first 7 days of reading already, so here are days 8-21.

  • Matthew 4:12-17, Acts 5:1-16, Psalms 8, Genesis 21-23
  • Matthew 4:18-25, Acts 5:17-42, Psalms 9, Genesis 24
  • Matthew 5:1-12, Acts 6, Psalms 10, Genesis 25-26
  • Matthew 5:13-20, Acts 7:1-38, Psalms 11, Genesis 27-28
  • Matthew 5:21-32, Acts 7:39-60, Psalms 12, Genesis 29-30
  • Matthew 5:33-48, Acts 8:1-25, Psalms 13, Genesis 31
  • Matthew 6:1-15, Acts 8:26-40, Psalms 14, Genesis 32-33
  • Matthew 6:16-24, Acts 9:1-19, Psalms 15, Genesis 34-35
  • Matthew 6:25-34, Acts 9:20-43, Psalms 16, Genesis 36
  • Matthew 7:1-14, Acts 10:1-23, Psalms 17, Genesis 37-38
  • Matthew 7:15-29, Acts 10:24-48, Psalms 18:1-24, Genesis 39-40
  • Matthew 8:1-13, Acts 11:1-18, Psalms 18:25-50, Genesis 41
  • Matthew 8:14-22, Acts 11:19-30, Psalms 19, Genesis 42-43
  • Matthew 8:23-34, Acts 12, Psalm 20, Genesis 44-45

In Other News

Hubby and I now have bedroom furniture! These pictures are as much for him as they are for you, since he has only seen quickly-taken cellphone pictures. I bought a long dresser with a mirror and a tall chest of drawers from Goodwill, and my friend and Sunday school teacher helped me to get them home – and even helped attach the mirror. Not pictured is the matching headboard which I got Goodwill to throw in with the dresser and mirror. It is sitting in the hall, as I don’t have the screws to try and attach it to our bedframe.

IMG_2379 IMG_2386

How to Climb – Part One

Dread.

All of my teenage and adult life has been focused on that one word. Dread.

How did I learn that word? How did I come to the conclusion that it was an accurate description of my feelings?

What comes to mind is an episode of a TV show I used to watch (I can’t remember what show this was – Maybe Full House?) where a kid hears her parents talk about being nervous – how they would certainly be nervous before doing something that she was about to do, and all of the sudden the kid develops stage fright. Really convinced that she is now feeling those things that her parents were feeling, she tries to back out of a performance, and the parents don’t realize what is happening until she repeats their words: “I’m nervous.” They only realized then that they had not only taught her a new vocabulary word, but they had also taught her to fear something she had no real need to fear.

I wonder if that’s what happened to me. Did I hear people talk about dreading work and then decide that I did, too?

When it Happens

I’ve felt dread about all kinds of situations in my life, but usually they fall into one of two categories:

1. Responsibilities – Things I have to do cause me to feel dread. Sometimes, when I think about it, I can laugh at myself a little because I know that if it weren’t something I had to do, I might actually enjoy it. But, sadly, knowing that doesn’t always help. I still feel the dread that I’ve learned to associate with responsibilities.

2. The Unexpected – I also feel dread when facing new and unexpected situations. This is probably related to my reluctance to face change. I like what I know, what is tried and true, and I dread entering situations where I might have to face something I haven’t faced before.

These are my mountains. Deployment, for instance, falls partially under both categories. Doing dishes falls under responsibilities. Going alone to a party falls under unexpected. Everything, it seems, is related to one or the other, or both.

Your mountains may have different shapes or may be made of a different substance, but these are mine.

Before Climbing

I have to do this. I know I have to do this. I need to, and I’m expected to do this. If I don’t do this, bad things will happen. I don’t want to do this, but I have to…

Thus cycle my thoughts.

Before I can climb any mountains in my life, I have to work past the dread. This comes before breaking a task down into manageable, bite-sized pieces and before taking any first baby steps. Because, no matter how small I tell myself the steps are, dreading them can still keep me from taking the first step. So, how do we do it?

One way to work past dread is by blocking it out. This is the method I’ve used most frequently, though I’m not necessarily proud of it. I try to think on anything other than the task at hand, and by so doing, trick myself into doing what I know I must. I can do it with loud music, with talking to friends, and with generally keeping busy.

The second method is preferable and probably more healthy than the first. Prayer. I so often underestimate the power of prayer. I have to continually remind myself that praying is not what it sometimes feels like. It is not just talking to myself or to the ceiling or sky. It’s not just something that makes me feel better, either.

  • Prayer is speaking with my God, who is actually the only one who has the ability to help me. He is all-powerful!
  • Prayer is drawing succor from the Holy Spirit, who was given to me by God to be my Comfortor when I was saved.
  • Prayer is admitting my insufficiencies and relying my Heavenly Father.
  • Prayer is accepting that my Lord is in control, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
  • Prayer is taking the focus off of myself and remembering to praise the Maker.

I want to encourage you to do what I also try to do: Face your mountains prayerfully. Manage your dread by facing it with prayer rather than blocking or avoiding it. Use prayer to prepare yourself for your first step!

What things do you dread? What do your mountains look like? What causes mole-hills to become mountains for you? How do you prepare to climb them?

 

If you enjoyed this post, do me a favor:
Use the link buttons below to share it
on your social networking site of choice!
Thanks, friends!

Five for Friday XII

Previous Fridays

Here are the five reasons I love my hubby for this week!

1. I love how important it was to you to get me a laptop for my writing!

2. I love how you share with me.

3. I love that you’re so understanding.

4. I love your punny nature.

5. I love the color of your eyes.

😀