Separation and Healthy Marriage

If you follow my vlogs on YouTube, you are aware that my husband and I have been separated a while. Since late August, actually, when I left Missouri and went to Arizona to stay with my parents. Soon, this separation is ending, and I’m going back to Ft. Leonard Wood with Tumbles to reunite our little family.

Before I left, I thought and prayed a lot about even the idea of separation. I read about it a lot online, and I came across very mixed messages. I don’t know if anyone will end up coming across my website sometime when they’re looking for answers, but, just in case, I want to throw my opinion into the mix. Take it for what it’s worth. I’m a young, married, Christian woman with some life experience under her belt, but I’m no psychologist, clergy member, or anything like that.

Is Separation a Good Option?michy rose

After going through marriage and separation, I have to say that I do not believe separation is a good option for any marriage. I can understand why it seems appealing, I can understand feeling you need space, and I can even understand feeling that the space and time apart could do you and your marriage good. In spite of understanding these things, however, I have to say that my advice is to do your very best to avoid separation if reuniting is your end goal. (If you are aiming toward divorce for whatever reason and do not wish to reunite, that’s sort of a separate issue.)

Before I left, I read on both sides of the issue. Even within the Christian community there were conflicting messages about whether it had any possibility to be helpful to a marriage or not. I believe the ultimate answer is that it is not helpful, but rather it is harmful to a marriage to go through a separation when the goal is ultimately to keep the marriage going and reunite.

What Happens When You Separate

There may already be emotional distance between a husband and wife, but, upon separating, that emotional distance is increased as well as the physical distance. Without the ability to touch and see your partner, you lose a sense of intimacy. Without that physical intimacy (even if it’s just a hand on the arm now and then or a hug) and without the exchange of words you get when living together, the emotional distance becomes even greater. You go from feeling a little disconnected to being extremely disconnected.

Is that bad? Isn’t that sometimes what we hope to gain from separation? Maybe you feel like you need that space because you’ve been fighting so much that resentment is building up and building up and you’re worried you’re going to hate each other or head straight toward divorce if you don’t create that distance!

To that, I would say that’s exactly what the world and the devil want you to think. That’s just my honest opinion because that’s exactly where I was! There was fighting, resentment, and serious issues that needed to be worked through, and I believed whole-heartedly that things were not going to change – could not even be worked on – until we’d had some time apart. I believed that staying together with our relationship in that state would only cause the hurt feelings and bitterness and resentment to grow to a point beyond repair. This is, I would guess, the main reason Christians who don’t want to divorce would end up separating.

Why the Distance is Bad

You think you want that distance, and you think that distance could help, and you think that if it doesn’t help, well, you were doomed anyway — something like that, right? But the truth is that the distance itself rips things even further apart. You can’t work on your issues when you’re apart. Maybe you can wait until the hurt feelings subside, but once you see your partner again, everything is going to resurface. And in the meantime, while you’re physically and emotionally distant, it’s easy – it’s so easy to allow yourself to behave towards your spouse without the love and/or respect that they need to be treated with, and it’s so easy to be tempted into indulging in various vices (cheating, drinking, flirting, squandering money, etc) because there’s no one there to call you on it and (so it seems) no one there to get hurt by it.

Basically, distance brings more distance. You can’t get close by being distant. When two marry, they become one flesh, and they need to be together and foster that togetherness, growing closer. Distance, for whatever reason, tends to be unhealthy. Being apart lets you each be pulled in different directions, and the longer you are apart, the further you get from each other. For my husband and me, the distance hurt us tremendously: emotionally, financially, relationally. It was harder to communicate, and we couldn’t get counseling. We got used to being independent again and making decisions solo. And as we got used to being apart, we seemed to pull away from each other even more until there was almost no closeness or intimacy left.

Divorce, at a point like that, becomes almost inevitable. You left angry, you didn’t resolve anything, you grew apart, and now there’s nothing left of that closeness you once felt. Even worse, if trust has been broken at some point there may be literally nothing pushing you to reunite.

roseStick it Out

I have to just encourage everyone to please stick it out. It sounds crazy some times that staying together could be the right thing to do even when it hurts, even when you’re unhappy, even when you can’t seem to get along with each other. Obviously, things aren’t going to get better without change taking place, but don’t choose the route of separation. I believe it is almost always going to do more damage than good and will more often than not lead to divorce!

Get back to being friends. Maybe split up your finances, if you’ve been pooling resources. Maybe sleep in different rooms. Maybe redefine things in your marriage (chores, responsibilities, duties, expectations). Definitely get some good counsel, preferably from a good Christian therapist or a pastor. Keep telling your spouse that you love them, and keep trying to act out that love. Keep praying. Pray HARD. Pray seriously and whole-heartedly. Pray face-down on the ground, pray in your car, pray in bed, pray over your meals, pray for your marriage constantly.

If things are going to get better – if your marriage is going to flourish and begin to be repaired – it’s going to be while you are together and working jointly toward the same goal.

What If.

No two people, situations, or marriages are alike. I understand that some people may think, "That doesn’t apply to me because my situation is ____." I understand that. There are so many problems that could be taking place. All I can say is that I encourage you to stick it out if possible and if you want and hope to keep your marriage alive.

The exceptions are when you either want a divorce or when there is ongoing unsafe behavior taking place (any form of abuse). If you must separate but still hope to reuinte, I cannot stress enough how important I believe it to be to have a pre-determined time limit, rules, and goals, and it is also really important to remain close to each other so you can get counseling! I would say a 2 hour drive, max! If you plan to divorce anyway, that’s a totally different issue. Separate and do what you must.

But if you plan to reunite, and if you want your marriage to last, stick it out. Stay together. Get in counseling. Maybe crash on a friend’s couch for a few nights, but don’t leave. I left, and I thought it was necessary, but it ended up creating so much distance between us that we almost went past the point of no return. I can only attribute it to God that he worked things out in a way that brought us to a point of trying to reconcile.

I just wanted to express these things. Feel free to
contact me privately or leave a comment if you want to talk about this further
(either my situation or your own). I’ll do my best to answer.

Loving

I grew up hearing that I should love my neighbor as I love myself, and, later, that I couldn’t truly love someone else unless I loved myself. These ideas threw me off kilter for a long time. Especially as I grew into teenage-hood and my depression hit me harder, I could not understand this concept because, frankly, I didn’t feel like I loved myself. In fact, sometimes, or maybe most of the time, I hated myself! But I loved others… didn’t I?

Agape?

Agape is a Greek word used frequently in the New Testament for “love.” It is a sacrificial, unconditional love. It is the love with which the Father loves us and with which we are to love Him in return. It is also the type of love we are to have for each other. And, in my opinion, it is a very misunderstood concept.

In the New Testament, there are three main Greek words which are all translated to our word love. One is a passionate, sexual, romantic love (eros). Another is a brotherly love; it describes the kind of feeling we have in a friendship with someone we really like (phileo). The last is the deepest kind of love, but it is not based on feelings but rather on doing good towards someone (agape).

I’ll say it again: agape is based on actions rather than feelings. This is why I, as a simple English-speaker, misunderstood it. Love usually means a feeling, not an action. And despite growing up with “Luv is a Verb” by DC Talk, I did not really grasp the concept of applying this action-based love to myself and others.

Love Thyself, Love Thy Neighbor

Depression aside (because I know sometimes in that pit it is hard to even take care of oneself), I think it’s fair to say that most people have this “agape love” toward themselves. We do good to ourselves. We give ourselves good things – food, things, shelter. We take care of our bodies and minds. We do what we can to relieve pain and keep out of harm’s way. We generally treat ourselves pretty well! This is what I believe is meant by loving others as we love ourselves.

As Christians, we’re called to treat everyone with this kind of unconditional love. We are to take care of each other, look after each other, love on each other. Not necessarily because we feel affectionate! Even when I think that I hate myself or hate a part of myself, I still tend to treat myself well. And even if we don’t like everyone that we come in contact with, we’re to do the same – treat them well. They are made in God’s image and loved by Him, and we are to do good to them, not harm.

Spousal Love

I questioned myself before I got married. I wasn’t sure whether I would really be capable of loving my husband after being told for so long that I could not love someone else unless I loved myself first. And did I really love myself? Sometimes I sure didn’t feel very pleased with who I was or how I behaved or looked. I think it would be more accurate to say that you can’t act lovingly towards your spouse if you don’t know how to act lovingly toward yourself. If you abuse yourself, you’re likely to abuse your spouse. But understanding unconditional love, or agape, means understanding how to be kind and loving in spite of what you may or may not feel.

And, of course, it’s often easy in marriage to treat your spouse with agape, since there’s usually eros and phileo to motivate you.

I hope I’ve explained my thoughts well enough to be understood!

Being a Christian Wife

This was on my brainstorming list of blog post ideas. Today, for some reason, it stood out to me. Maybe because it’s an area in my own life in which I’ve been trying to improve. What does my husband need of me, and what are my wifely responsibilities? I don’t think that wives are only around to serve their husbands, but I do believe God calls us to have a servant’s heart, whether or not one is a housewife.

Wives, Submit to Your Husbands

“Submitting to your husband doesn’t mean becoming his slave. It means recognizing his role and putting him first. After all, I believe this is the example Christ has set forth for us…”
Melissa J. on Families.com

The biggest difference between a Christian marriage and a non-Christian marriage is whether or not the wife submits to her husband. God provides an umbrella of protection by putting the husband under himself, the wife under the husband, and the children under the wife. By living with that family structure in mind, I think that we will find ourselves living the happy, fulfilling lives God intends for us. But the wife-to-husband submission is very different from the child-to-parent submission. Notice in the Bible that children are told to obey, while wives are told to submit. (Ephesians 5-6)

1. Respecting

  • The quote above touches on this, but I will re-iterate: I think that wives submit to their husbands through respect. After my husband so lovingly listens to my thoughts and suggestions, I should then strive to respectfully accept his decision as final. God has put that responsibility into my husband’s hands, and out of respect for that position, I defer to him. If a mistake is made, I should not criticize or ridicule him. I should continue treating him with the respect he deserves.
  • I should not only respect his decisions, though. I also respect his goals and dreams, his space, his person. This includes holding back sometimes on snide and sarcastic remarks! (This is something Hubby and I are BOTH working on. We recognize that sometimes taking sarcasm too far makes one or the other of us start to feel unloved.)
  • Avoiding nagging is, I think, a very big step in learning to respect your husband. Many women, including myself, have an almost uncontrollable urge to nag. (Only a slight exaggeration!) But when we nag our husbands, we end up feeling like their mothers, and they end up feeling like children. That is not respect, and, of course, we know this. It’s just hard to overcome sometimes! My friend recently suggested putting myself into the mindset of a personal secretary rather than a mom. It’s not a perfect analogy, but thinking this way helps me sometimes to remember that I should respectfully remind him of things and then trust his judgment about which to do and when to do them, rather than nagging him.
  • Also like a secretary, I should take things into my own hands when possible. For instance, at my former job, I wouldn’t have asked my boss to do much of anything I could do myself. That’s not to say that wives should slave all week while husbands become couch potatoes, but I think you get the idea.

2. Praising

  • I can no longer even count the number of sources that have told me about praising my husband. I hear it everywhere. Men respond positively to praise, and husbands respond very positively to praise from their wives in particular! It’s good to try not to criticize or nag, but it’s better to take it a step further and look for things your husband is doing that you can praise.
  • Praise and support go hand in hand. As I praise Hubby’s accomplishments, I show appreciation for what he’s done, but I can also praise his efforts to let him know I support everything he’s trying to do, whether or not things go as planned.
  • I try to put my admiration into words, so that my husband knows I see his hard work that sometimes seems unseen by everyone else. I want him to know that I notice how much hard work he puts into his job, even if he doesn’t feel he gets recognition for it at work.

3. Helping

“The Purpose of A Woman: God said, ‘I will make him a(n) ezer’ (Genesis 2:18).”
Hem of His Garment Bible Study

  • Many Christian wives work hard at doing things like cooking, housekeeping, parenting, and organizing in an effort to be a help-meet for their husbands, and I think that many non-Christians look at those women and think “servant” or, worse, “slave.” But that’s not it at all! Helping is not the same as serving, despite how it may appear from the outside. When God created Eve and said she was to be a helper, the Hebrew word used (ezer) is the same word as is found in the following verse:

“I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
Psalm 121:1-2

  • I can help my husband by keeping the house managed for him, so that he doesn’t have to. I can learn what his life goals are and help him to meet them. I can help by praying for him. I can help in little things, like doing a chore I know he’s dreading. I can help him relax using, among other things, this list. And I can also help him by encouraging him to be a spiritual leader.
  • The help I give my husband is something God designed me for, and it should be thought of in the same way as God’s help for us. In other words, it’s the power and strength of God working through us so we can do what he designed us to do – help our husbands. It’s not good for man to be alone! In other words, we wives are needed. It’s good to be needed.

In the Army

One other thing I was thinking about is how being a Christian wife might look different for those of us in the Army. I will probably have even more thoughts on this after we’ve gone through a deployment together.

For those of you readers who may already have a greater understanding of this, let me ask you: How is your relationship with your husband affected by deployments and long periods of “independence” followed by times of getting back into the groove of marriage? How do you respect your husband when there is so much distance between the two of you? Do you find it difficult?

Two P’s

Above all, I think that the best way to learn how to be a Christian wife is through prayer and practice. I’ve been praying for God to help me learn to be the wife he wants me to be since about a year before Hubby and I started dating, and I’ve been practicing for about a year now. I have not arrived by any means; I still struggle, but I’m still trying. My husband and my God are kind enough to lovingly forgive my shortcomings. I’m so grateful for their patience with me.

I would encourage any and all of you to begin praying now if you never have before, whether you’re single or have been married for years. God will always answer prayers that are in line with his will for your life, so if you’re asking for him to help you become the Christian wife he wants for you to be, he will definitely help you!

Speak Your Mind to Have a Healthy Social Life

It’s frustrating to me to try and be friends with someone who won’t speak his mind. And no, this isn’t a post asking for comments! I’m talking about speaking your mind, just in every day life. Do you hold back rather than tell a friend he has something in his teeth? Do you agree to go along with some activity you really don’t want to do? Do you smile and nod and say everything is fine when it’s not?

Stop fearing rejection and speak your mind!

People won’t always care what I have to say, but I still make an effort to speak my mind. Personally, I’ve gone through periods in my life where I’ve blamed my circumstances or the people around me for my social life – or lack thereof. I’ve been there, and the memory of it is still fresh. I think I’m finally coming to terms with my responsibility – my part – when it comes to my social life.

You know, I know, we all know that you can’t make people like you. You can do some things that encourage people to like you, or at least you can encourage them to like the part of yourself that you’re choosing to show, but you can’t force anyone to like you. That will sometimes happen, sometimes not. However! That doesn’t mean that it is everyone else’s job to become your friend. If you or I want healthy friendships, marriages, or any kind of relationships at all, we have to realize that our actions, thoughts, and words have a direct impact on the quality of our social lives.

Speaking Your Mind the Right Way

Speaking your mind in the positive sense that I’m talking about leads to several things:

  1. I will have been true to myself, and any relationships I have will have been formed on the truth. I will not have deceived anyone into thinking I’m something other than what I really am.
  2. I will feel better having let my real opinion be known. I won’t feel as if I’ve had to bottle up my feelings until it’s time to burst.
  3. I will have learned to give my friends and loved ones the benefit of the doubt. I trust them to care about me enough to accept my opinions, and I also trust the strength of our relationship enough to believe that if they neglect to ask me, it’s not for lack of caring.

I think the third point is my favorite and is also a major stumbling block for people who have trouble speaking their minds. As you noticed, it’s two-fold. I’m still working on the second half of it, because it means that if no one asks about my day, I can take a step of faith and tell them without fearing that the reason they didn’t ask is because they don’t care to know. It also means I can approach my loved ones with problems they may not have perceived, believing that they probably would have asked if they had known I was upset and that I needed them. Similarly, I can strengthen relationships by reaching out to my friends in ways that they neglect to reach out to me, all because of that same trust that I choose to place in them. If I give them the benefit of the doubt, I can care for and love them a little more freely.

Yor Doin It WrongI Can Has Cheezburger

I just want to clarify that when I advocate speaking your mind, I don’t mean that it’s correct for every circumstance. There are wrong times and wrong ways of doing it, so be careful. Doing it wrong has pretty much the opposite effect – it will hurt your relationships. The balance that must be found should not scare you away from speaking your mind altogether, though. Many things must be balanced upon a knife edge, or are separated by only a fine line. The difference between speaking your mind the right and wrong way, however, is much bigger. Think “balanced on a dull sword blade.” Something like that.

  1. Don’t take advantage of trust by criticizing. Likely, your relations care about you enough to want to hear what you have to say, but that doesn’t mean they feel you have a right to critique everything they do or criticize them on a regular basis. Of course, you wouldn’t do that, but it would be speaking your mind. Just in the wrong way.
  2. Don’t force others to do it your way all the time. Yes, I advise that you speak up if there is an activity being planned that you don’t want to be part of. But it’s still a good idea to kindly go along with others’ ideas sometimes, even if it wouldn’t have been your choice. (Wendy’s is not my favorite restaurant, but when a group of friends is going, there’s no need to make a big deal out of it.)
  3. Don’t just blurt out anything at any time. Use tact! Speak in a way that shows you’re just expressing your opinion, not trying to shoot down someone else’s ideas.

Responsibility For Your Social Life

As you take responsibility for and control of your social life, see if these tips help you at all. Or maybe these are things that you already do, or you have suggestions for additions to the list. If so, how about leaving a comment and sharing?

Marrying Into The Army

Why I married into the army, why you may not want to, and my thoughts on this subject! It’s on my mind today (which is not to say that it’s not on my mind most other days as well) because Hubby just left for a two-week field training exercise. I miss him, but such is the life of an Army wife!

My soldier!Why?

If you wonder why I married into the army, well, you’re not the only one. Maybe I haven’t been asked flat-out many times, but I can see the unseen question in each woman’s eyes as she says that she could never do it, and she doesn’t know how I do. The answer is simple. I love him! My husband, my best friend. No one else could take his place. And as we prayed about it, we felt God had been bringing us together and had been preparing us through our long friendship for this marriage.

His being in the army was one of the factors in deciding to marry, but it was never really a deterrent to me. I just couldn’t let it stand in my way. If it put his life in danger, it’s not the only job that can do so! God can protect him as easily overseas as he can right here in the states, and will keep him alive and well as long as he sees fit. If it puts him away from me for extended periods of time, at least it’s for the cause of defending the country. At least he’s serving. At least I know he’ll be back, and I get first dibs when he returns.

I remember before we were even engaged, I was visiting him on base and dealing with the frustration of the Army: (how do I sum this up?) They are so disorganized. The Army is forever changing dates and plans for soldiers without prior notice, keeping the soldiers longer than they said the would, getting things mixed up… I remember sitting in the car, waiting for him to get back from a briefing that was supposed to be finished hours prior, thinking, “I could deal with this better if we were married.”

In some ways, I was right. Becoming an Army wife rather than just a friend to a soldier has given me access to inside information and understanding that I otherwise wouldn’t have had. When he comes home late, it’s me he’s coming home to, and I get to spend time with him right away.

On the other hand, being as close as a wife is to her husband makes the worry over his safety that much more severe, and it makes his stress, my stress, in a more real way than ever before. Thankfully, God is helping me through.

Are You Cut Out?

I don’t think you have to be made from a special mold to handle being an Army wife. I’ve seen others, and they’re of all different backgrounds. What draws us together is the fact that we love a man enough to deal with it. Our similar experiences give us something in common, like an instant conversation-starter.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that wondering whether you’re cut out for the life of an Army wife is enough to say that you’re not. But I would say that before you decide, you pray about it, and consider the factors that come with it that you won’t be able to escape.

There’s much more to it than dealing with deployments! Army wives have to handle the life, not just the deployment. It is an every-day thing.

The Good Side

In closing, I just want to point out that there are positive aspects to it all! The most obvious of these are financial stability and job security. My husband gets paid the same amount every month. Period. It’s enough to live on, though not extravagantly. If we’re wise with our money, we won’t ever go hungry, and that’s a very good thing not to have to worry about! As far as his job goes, he would have to do some really, really bad things to lose his job, things that I know my husband wouldn’t do. Until the end of his contract, we don’t have to worry about unemployment.

In addition: We both have access to all of the medical care we need; His physical training keeps him in very good shape; We have access to on-post facilities such as free-to-use gyms, child care, commissary, post-exchange, etc; His education will be paid for, thanks to the G.I. bill.

I have great respect for the soldiers serving our country and for the wives who back them up and deal with this life every day. To those who have been doing it much longer than I, I commend you! You’re so strong and brave! To those who are new, as I am, we can do it! We are strong and brave, too! 🙂

Do you have any Army-wifey experiences you’d like to share? What helps you handle it?

Communication

Is any other subject so likely to go in one ear and out the other? Hm, that’s ironic. Everyone knows that communication is the basis for any strong relationship, including, of course, marriage. We may be tired of hearing it, but if it’s old news, it’s also tried and true.

Have you ever known someone who is a peacemaker? Are you ever surprised at how they can smooth over issues that have people in knots? I have a theory about that. I think those peacemakers are really just people with strong communication skills. They’re able to look into the argument and locate the misunderstanding.

There are numerous books and articles addressing this issue, but just for a quick break down, let me list four of the things that I find helpful when I’m trying to communicate with the people in my life:

  1. Active Listening – In my opinion, this does not have to necessarily mean repeating everything the other person says verbally. I think it’s often good enough just to do it silently in your own mind. Before focusing too much on what you’re going to say next, take a moment to hear what your friend is saying and repeat it to yourself in your own words. This is also a principle we find in the Bible. (James 1:19)
  2. Benefit of the Doubt – I struggle with this one even as I try to apply it in my life, but it’s true. You may hear what you think you hear, and you may react before realizing you may not have heard what the other party meant. But if something comes across as hurtful, try to find another possible meaning – a positive one. Let that be your interpretation of the words until you have a more substantial reason to believe otherwise.
  3. Ask for Clarification – Why don’t we do this more? I see it in real life, on TV, and I even read it in my favorite books. People hear things, and interpret them, never wondering whether they’re correct. The way I do this most frequently is to ask someone to say something again, but in different words. Then I tell them what I think I heard and ask if that’s correct.
  4. Don’t Try to Wound – This applies especially during arguments or fights. When fighting with people you care for, don’t forget that you care for them, and they care for you! Keep your arguments about the issue, and don’t try to wound the person. Even the biggest disagreements don’t have to put a rift in your relationship if you keep the fights fair.

It’s a short list, but as I said, it’s tried and true, by myself as well as others. There are dozens of rules and guidelines besides these. I for one can’t memorize all of them. But I can keep these few in mind, and hopefully you can, too!

Day Job vs. Passion

I am beyond excited about this website. I’m thrilled because for me, my day job is now my passion as well. It wasn’t always the case. I’ve spent many years working at things about which I’m not passionate. It’s not a fun place to be, and I hated that time in my life with, dare I say, a passion.

I hate how it seems that we’re forced to work without passion. Yes, we’re told we should find a job we love, but if all else fails, find something that pays well. In the end, that’s what we’re pushed to go for. By society. And we have to, because we have to have that well paying job to live, really.

Not everyone can give up their day job for their passion. I was lucky, in a way. But then again, most things that seem like luck are just God working in my life. He has guided me and opened up the doors, putting me where I now stand: at the threshold of my passion.

One thing I know… Even if I’m doing what I’m passionate about every day, it’s still going to be work. My day job is no less of a job now than when I went to Dr. Chiang’s office five days a week to sit at a desk. Despite people thinking that homemaker and self-employed are the same as has it easy, I’m finding that my passion requires real work. I have to set goals, make lists, put in effort. It’s definitely more enjoyable than my old day job. It’s definitely fruitful. It’s definitely worth the effort. Why? Because I love writing, I love sharing what’s on my mind, and I love meeting similar-minded people and making friends!

I wanted to share some of my goals, or, in other words, my passions. I’m in a new phase of life: a new army wife, new to “homemaking,” newly self-employed, new problogger. How I got here is amazing; where I plan to go is exciting!

I want Ocipura.com to reflect me in more ways than it does now, in ways beyond just being decorated in my favorite colors. 🙂 I want my thoughts and opinions to be easily understandable when my current and future friends read them. I want the site to mean something. I want to reach other military families who “get” me, other homemakers (be they wives or husbands), other animal- and art-lovers. I want to help people understand why I love my God! I want to share my thoughts on marriage and military and the work I do. I want to see more traffic coming to this site and also to my Avon store as I give my honest opinions about products. I even want to welcome those who disagree with me and want to argue their points.

When you come back, you can expect to find a place where you and your friends can hear about opinions and experiences of some one who may be going through the same things you are going through. I plan to include posts about what I’ve learned about home business, homemaking, art (I enjoy casual scrapbooking, drawing, crochet), being an army wife, marriage, and cooking (including recipes)!

I’m excited about the future of Ocipura.com! What do you do as a day job? Are you passionate about it? What would your dream job be??