This is not an original topic. I’ve read several blog posts about the Bad Asperger’s Day and found many more that I haven’t read yet. I’m going to write it, anyway. If you’re interested in other perspectives, take a look at AspergerCafe and AspieWizard, or just do a search!
So, You’re Having a Bad Day?
It’s more than just having a bad day. To say you’re “having a bad day” is usually synonymous with saying that things are going badly. Circumstances are frustrating, people are annoying, you’re dropping or breaking or ruining things. I have days like that, and those are, indeed, bad days. To have a Bad Aspie Day, however, is a little different. Sometimes, there are similar “bad day” things going on, sometimes not. Today, for instance, all it took was waking up.
It was like. There’s fuzz or static or something in my head, and it makes things feel muddled. But rather than dulling my senses, it somehow still allows me to hear in great detail every little noise. Remember how I said I deal with noises that bother me? Today, every little sound drives me up the wall, and I keep wanting to tilt my head and protect my ear with my shoulder. The fan is rattling like it always does, my family members’ voices haven’t changed, and really nothing unusual is going on, but they make me tense and irritable.
It kind of just feels like verging on some kind of outburst or even a meltdown all day.
Aren’t Things Always As Overwhelming?
I grew up to adulthood not even knowing about Asperger’s, so obviously I’ve learned coping mechanisms, and I put them into practice very often with success! If I hadn’t learned to cope with the everyday stressors that I experience, I can guarantee I wouldn’t have been able to hold a job or keep a friend. So what’s so different on a Bad Aspie Day – why not use the same coping skills?
What can I say? It’s like they just don’t work. It takes everything I have on a day like today to keep from just being flat out rude. I hold in so much and just want to scream, and then I try to gently (and yet, can I even tell if I sound gentle?) ask people
to SHUT UP!!!!!!! if they could please keep what they want to tell me quite brief. I try to let off some of the extra tension by indulging in some stims, but what I really want to do is curl up in bed with a comfy pillow, a soft blanket, my kitty, and some white noise like ocean waves.
What’s the Fix?
I don’t know how to fix it, really. As TheAspieWizard says, distractions can help. I do the same thing with my cat when he’s cranky – distract him with something fun or tasty, and sometimes he’ll forget that he wants to bite you, but then again, sometimes he finishes with his distraction and remembers perfectly how hard he wants to sink his teeth into my flesh. So, obviously, it’s not a perfect fix. I’m not sure there is a real solution, and that’s kind of the point. It’s a Bad Aspie Day, and that means that some days I just need to withdraw and indulge in things that are soothing, if not for my own sake, then definitely for the sake of my loved ones!