A Breezy Update

It’s windy outside. I just took a walk, and my ears nearly froze right off. I’m serious, yo!

So I’m just breezing through with an update on life, the universe, and everything. For those of you unaware, I did successfully complete National Novel Writing Month again! For the third time! I wrote what I’m categorizing as a mainstream fiction novel (draft) that follows three different-but-related Army stories. Depending on whether you count hyphenated words as one word or multiple words, I wrote between 50-51k words. So I’m pretty proud of that! As a winner, I get the satisfaction of having won. And a printable certificate. Oh, and 50% off of this writing software that I’m really excited about. Hubby said I can has! 😀

Since then, life has returned back to normal in more ways than one. My mom left after her month-long visit, so the house is back to empty. And I’m back to writing only occasionally (in other words, not really much at all).

I hope that everyone has a great holiday season! I am spending Christmas Eve with Hubby’s family and Christmas Day with my family, and I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of spring and Hubby’s 2 weeks of R&R!

Being Real

How important is it to be real?

With yourself? Very important. With your spouse? Again, very important.

With your friends? I…I’m not sure!

What I Learned From my Childhood

  • It’s not okay to cry sometimes.
  • Crying makes people uncomfortable, and their comfort is more important than my pain.
  • It’s okay to cry, but really, you shouldn’t. Grown-ups hold it in and do it privately.
  • Sometimes, there’s just no one with whom you can share.
  • If my emotions don’t make sense, I might as well keep them to myself rather than experience that lonely, “unheard” feeling.

What I Learned From my Adulthood

  • Even the closest of friends pretend to be fine when they’re not.
  • Even the closest of friends will fail to stick with you at your worst, if you’re not careful.
  • It’s okay to cry, but not really. You shouldn’t. Grown-ups don’t.
  • Crying makes people uncomfortable, and their comfort is more important than my pain.
  • Expressing emotions makes people uncomfortable.
  • It’s important to maintain an image. An appearance of “I can take everything in stride.”

Why are my friendships not as intimate as they could be? I fail to trust people with the worst parts of myself. In fact, my husband is the only one I’ve been able to trust wholly and completely. And, really, why should I take that leap to trust others? I observe people around me, and I don’t really see people being fully open about themselves… So I’m just following the example and showing, mostly, my best side.

Is it wrong that I/we do this? With our best friends, should we be more trusting, more intimate, more willing to admit how bad we screw up sometimes, how much we hurt sometimes, how angry we get, or sad, or lonely? And, if so, how do we make that next step from friends who hang out, chat, and complain together to friends who are just plain real together?


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