Previous Fridays

Every Friday I try to post five reasons I love my husband!

1. I love your faith.

2. I love your adventurousness.

3. I love when you tell me I should take care of myself.

4. I love you when I hear our song.

5. I love that you’re reading the Wheel of Time books.

Christians and money. I believe that Christians have an oft-ignored responsibility to handle their money with care. The Bible actually has a lot to say about money, and yet I wonder how often we really consult it or God before making financial decisions.

The Bible on Riches

“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil…”
-1 Timothy 6:10 (NIV)

That is probably the most famous Bible verse about money. People often misquote it as “money is the root of all evil,” but the wording implies a slightly different meaning. As it says later in Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.”

What God calls for in the financial area of your life is the same thing he calls for in other areas: wholehearted commitment. So let’s get something straight here right off the bat. God doesn’t tell us that it’s wrong to be wealthy. In fact, as seen in the Old Testament, God often blesses faithful men with riches. What needs addressing is what is most important in your life?

“The call of Jesus is often personalized based on what he knows challenges our allegiance to him.”

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“As [Jesus] went out into the street, a man came running up, greeted him with great reverence, and asked, ‘Good Teacher, what must I do to get eternal life?’

Jesus said, ‘Why are you calling me good? No one is good, only God. You know the commandments: Don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, honor your father and mother.’

He said, ‘Teacher, I have—from my youth—kept them all!’

Jesus looked him hard in the eye—and loved him! He said, ‘There’s one thing left: Go sell whatever you own and give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be heavenly wealth. And come follow me.’

The man’s face clouded over. This was the last thing he expected to hear, and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go.

Looking at his disciples, Jesus said, ‘Do you have any idea how difficult it is for people who ‘have it all’ to enter God’s kingdom?’ The disciples couldn’t believe what they were hearing, but Jesus kept on: ‘You can’t imagine how difficult. I’d say it’s easier for a camel to go through a needle’s eye than for the rich to get into God’s kingdom.’

That set the disciples back on their heels. ‘Then who has any chance at all?’ they asked.

Jesus was blunt: ‘No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it.’”
- Mark 10:17-27 (The Message)

Using Money Wisely

God loves when we give to the poor and spend our money on those who are in need. However, God doesn’t always call us to do that. There are other good ways to use money, some of which are stated directly in scripture and others that we glean from various stories and from our knowledge of God’s character.

“Jesus was at Bethany, a guest of Simon the Leper. While he was eating dinner, a woman came up carrying a bottle of very expensive perfume. Opening the bottle, she poured it on his head. Some of the guests became furious among themselves. ‘That’s criminal! A sheer waste! This perfume could have been sold for well over a year’s wages and handed out to the poor.’ They swelled up in anger, nearly bursting with indignation over her.

But Jesus said, ‘Let her alone. Why are you giving her a hard time? She has just done something wonderfully significant for me. You will have the poor with you every day for the rest of your lives. Whenever you feel like it, you can do something for them. Not so with me. She did what she could when she could—she pre-anointed my body for burial. And you can be sure that wherever in the whole world the Message is preached, what she just did is going to be talked about admiringly.’
-Mark 14:3-9 (The Message)

Here’s a brief list of what I believe to be good and poor uses of money, based on my faith and my studies.

The Good:

• Charity – Giving to the poor. God cares for people through his servants. Jesus praises the idea of giving money, food, and shelter to the poor. Proverbs 22:9: “A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor.”
• Supplying our family’s needs – The Bible teaches that it is good to work for your wages, and those wages are meant to help provide for your needs. Proverbs 28:19: “He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies will have his fill of poverty.”
• Giving gifts to loved ones – Jesus likens God’s blessings to the gifts we give to our children. It is good to give gifts to those we love. God does it, and he is the perfect example for us to follow! Matthew 7:11: “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
• Helping the church – The church can also help provide for needy people, but first the members of the church need to give to it. This is called tithing because in the Old Testament Jews were required to give a tenth of their wages to the Lord. Giving to the church is the most direct way we can give to the Lord. 2 Corinthians 9:7: “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”
• Helping missionaries – Missionaries aren’t paid a salary. God provides for their needs through us. And indeed they have many needs, and their work is rough. Mark 6:8: “These were his [Jesus’] instructions [to those he sent out]: "Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts.”
• Playing – Before you say this is a stretch, think about the good things the New Testament has to say about celebrations and parties. God doesn’t call us to be solemn all the time. We are meant to enjoy life! Sometimes, this means playing. The word of caution is to make sure you have taken care of your responsibilities first, and to remember that not all recreational activities available to us are necessarily good in God’s sight. So be careful, but have fun. Ecclesiastes 5:19: “…When God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God.”

The Bad:

• Hoarding – Just read Ecclesiastes if you question this. Hoarding is no good. It’s meaningless to build up treasures in this life. Put your money to good use, instead!
• Showing off – Pride comes before a fall. God does not think highly of boasting.
• Worshiping – Again, man cannot serve two masters. Worship the God who blessed you with your money, not the money itself.

Seek Ye First

How should we treat our money? I believe that as Christians, we should pray before making decisions about money. No one answer is correct in every situation. You can’t always save it. You can’t always give it to the poor. You can’t always use it on gifts for loved ones. Seek God, and he will guide you, though sometimes that guidance is so gentle we barely notice it. Keep seeking him. Keep praying.

What are your thoughts on the matter? I’d love to get other opinions on this – or any feedback you’re willing to share!

Sometimes, I feel like just saying it. Admitting it. I’m not a blogger! I mean, seriously, what kind of blogger has so much trouble thinking of topics and making herself sit down to write? Who am I trying to kid?

Nope, I’m not a blogger. But I enjoy writing. I’ve immensely enjoyed writing blogs these past couple months. Nevermind that I get maybe one comment a week. I don’t do it for the feedback. I do it because I enjoy it. And I try not to beat myself up about not being the best, fastest, most competent blogger.

But I do have a question…

I have, what, maybe 5-10 readers? Where are you guys? Oh, I see you. Right there. Yeah, you. Well, you’re reading, right? You’ve read my blog more than once? Okay, you count as a reader.

Which posts do you prefer more than others? What do you want to see more of on Ocipura.com? Not that I’m only going to post what people want to read and nothing else, but if you love the recipes, I’ll try to post them more often than one every few weeks. If you love the Avon product reviews and announcements, I can put up a few more of those. Do you like the personal stuff better? Advice? Relationship issues? Christianity?

I’m not going to cut anything out just because no one “votes” for it, but I just want to get a feel for what you guys like. Oh, and maybe get to know a few of you, too. Most of my readers haven’t ever left a comment!

It’s Sunday night, and I’m writing now because I know I’ve gotten into a bad habit of putting off my blog-writing until the last minute, and then sometimes putting it off even longer. I have several different topics written down, but none of them struck me as right. I could write about them, I guess, but it would just be writing. I would just be filling space. They are topics I care about normally, but right now I’m having a hard time caring about much of anything.

Lately, my blogs have been a bit more personal, so I might as well continue in that vein. See, the truth is, I have, and I guess I continually do, struggle with depression. I have ups and downs. Sometimes the downs seem to be random, while at other times they’re triggered by something or someone. Of course, my most recent down was triggered by JRTC.

“Overcoming depression,” is, I think, a fitting title. Depression is one of those ongoing things that never seems to just go away. It took me… not long at all to figure that out, but it took me years to really accept it. At first it was horrifying. I’m going to probably deal with this for the rest of my life? I can’t handle that! … But I can.

The Early Years

I don’t know when it started. You know? Lots of us can’t really remember a time when it was different, though we have a feeling somewhere in the backs of our minds that it was, at one time. I do know when it got bad, and then when it got worse. I definitely remember crying – all – the – time. I couldn’t handle the things I thought I should be able to handle. I remember feeling so sick of “having to pretend everything is ok.” Dropping out of school, quitting multiple jobs, dropping out of college… Depression is miserable, right? I mean, to me, the words are almost synonymous.

I used to wonder why no one cared. Couldn’t they tell? Couldn’t they read between the lines? Nevermind that I was trying to hide it.

The worst part was that I “knew” I had no right to feel that way. I told myself…probably every day…how good I had it. Followed closely by an increase in the flood of tears and a feeling of hopeless misery as I told myself how bad I had it. Followed by berating myself for feeling that way. Endless cycles of what felt like endless sadness. I dealt with it like many do. I avoided people, isolated myself, built bad habits, self-medicated, ran away, et cetera…

How I Healed

Those valleys at first were so deep I thought I’d never get out. And once I did, it seemed like another one was there to meet me right away. Now, they’re less frequent. They’re not so deep. But how I healed then is the same way I get through the valleys now. Now, I’m just more practiced at it, I guess.

• Prayers of Family and Friends – I have to mention this first. People loved me, throughout all my dark years, enough to pray for me no matter how I hurt them or worried them. My parents, siblings, grandparents… My friends from highschool, friends online… I don’t know how many prayed for me or how frequently they prayed, but I do know God heard them. I use this as a reminder to myself to pray consistently for those I care and worry about. I know it makes a difference.
• Walking with God – My healing came from God, not from within myself. But it wasn’t instantaneous like I wanted it to be. I had walked away and abandoned him because I couldn’t believe he was really there. I spent two years crying out in my misery, asking God not to change my situation but to help me cope. Finally, I said he wasn’t doing it. Why would he not do it if he was there? Why would he let me suffer so, when I’m trying to do right, and when I’m asking for help? By the time I got to the deepest part of the valley, my faith was, well, nowhere in sight. I had forsaken almost everything I had previously valued.
  Eventually, I came to realize I did believe in God. I couldn’t deny his existence anymore. But it was still a long time before my life began to reflect that admission of belief. And after that, it was still a long time before I began to learn to trust. And even then, nothing magically got better. I wanted it to. I wanted it to be as simple as saying I believe – please help me! But it doesn’t work like that.
  I had to learn to walk with God, and I have to keep walking with him, and he helps me through. I go through things I’m sure I can’t handle, and he listens to me complain, and he loves me. And sometimes I don’t even realize until long after the fact that he’s really been carrying me and my load, just like in that poem Footprints in the Sand.
• Permission to Feel – I’m an Army wife now, so my first thought is of my husband and how he has to ask permission to do almost anything. I don’t know when, but at some point, I convinced myself that I did not have permission to feel. Permission denied.
  I did not have a right to my feelings. I never asked anyone; I just decided. The second biggest piece of advice I can give to anyone struggling with depression is to allow yourself to feel. There’s no should to human feelings. Maybe there’s a “norm,” maybe. Maybe. But no should. You just feel what you feel. The problem is that some of us spend all our time feeling guilty for feeling bad, and then feeling bad for feeling guilty, and then feeling guilty all over again. Like I said, in me it produced an endless cycle until I decided that I was going to allow myself to feel sad. Even if my reasons were flimsy – even if there were no reasons at all. When sadness hits me, I feel sad. When anger, depression, or hopelessness hit me, I feel it rather than denying it. I find that it helps tremendously.
• Venting and Support – Both are important, but sometimes we can’t have both. Still, the last step for me and the last piece of advice I can give is this: Find an outlet and find support. Journaling can be an outlet, chatting with friends can be, and so can art or a number of other hobbies and crafts. Even crying while eating a bowl of ice cream can be an outlet. Prayer is another great outlet! You’ve got to have some way, though, to express your feelings. It’s good for you.
  Me, I choose a combination of all of the above. And as for support, I have quite a few supportive loved ones, but my main source of support is my husband. I am so blessed to have him.

I Want to Help

I don’t know if I’ll ever really have an outside-the-home career. As you know, I’m a stay-home wife, and I hope one day in the next few years to become a stay-home mom. But even if I don’t have a career, there’s something I want to do. I want to help. Depression is one of those nasty things that I hate for anyone to have to experience. But we do. We go through it, and if you’re like me you may struggle with it for most of your life! I saw several different counselors and psychologists in my low times, but only one made a difference to me. I want to be that person for someone else.

I want to help… so badly! The hard part is that what works for me may or may not help anyone else. It’s hard to know how to approach people because everyone is different! Just like not everyone struggling with weight issues conquers them in the same way, not everyone struggling with depression conquers it in the same way. But I do so want to help.

And I guess that’s all I have to say about that. For now.

Tumbles: Just because I want to be held does not mean I want to be touched!

Previous Fridays

1. I love hearing your voice again after too long without it.

2. I loved my 40 second wake-up call this morning!

3. I love your hidden notes and cards.

4. I love looking forward to your homecoming.

5. I love getting be the the one you come home to.

I’m not redundant.