Last week I was encouraged, by a Bible study I’m doing with some women at my church, to choose two verses each week and post them up and reflect on them, meditate on them, even memorize them. I have long thought known I should memorize and meditate on scripture beyond my daily Bible reading (which I have strived to make a habit this year), but I have felt too overwhelmed to do it. Where would I start? Yeah, I should “hide His Word in my heart,” but… there’s a lot of words! It felt too big to tackle!

But, I’m in a Bible study called Discerning the Voice of God.

And I really want to hear Him. And I really want to get the most from this study! So I took the suggestion and chose two verses. I wrote them neatly in cursive on a piece of paper and stuck it on my bathroom mirror. Now, the problem is, often if I post something up on my mirror I stop really seeing it after a time, but I tried to make myself look at it, read it, apply it to what I went through this week.

I believe that I will look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!
-Psalm 27:13-14 (ESV)

I am realizing that what I believe affects what I think and feel as well as what I do. To take an example from the book Thin Within, if I believe I’m a chicken, I will act like a chicken, pecking at the ground in the chicken coop with other chickens. But if I believe I’m an eagle, I will soar high above. I won’t stay in the coop. If I believe God doesn’t care about me and there is nothing good this side of Heaven, I will live accordingly. I will doubt him, I will feel hopeless, I will take situations into my own hands. But if I believe I will see His goodness, here, on Earth, that he’s here with me, that will then change my outlook on life.

I’m also encouraged by the message to wait on the Lord. Of course, this appears numerous times in the Bible, but I’ve never thought about it. Take courage, it says, and wait. Often I feel anxious in my inactivity. I need to know what’s going to happen and plan how I’m going to face it, and I feel afraid if I don’t know God’s plan for me. And he says instead to wait. With courage. Believe that I will see His goodness, and be okay with leaving the future in his hands.

The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save.
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
he will quiet you by his love,
he will exult over you with loud singing.
-Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV)

It is said rather indirectly, but it speaks to me and reminds me that God not only loves me but also delights in me. Exulting means lively, triumphant joy, jubilation, and elation. He rejoices over me and is glad for me. He sings over me.

I sing to Him, sometimes with a heart so full that I want to cry, and yet this verse says HE sings over ME. Our conquering hero never leaves us alone, but stays with us, and not only that, but he loves us and enjoys us. As I faced difficulty this last week dealing with depression again, I kept coming back to this verse and meditating on it, letting it sink in, trying to imagine a God who loves me so much. His love really did work to quiet my soul.

Wife of a Sailor hosts this weekly meme for military spouse bloggers.

1. Have you (spouse) ever considered joining the military and what do you think of dual military couples?
   I actually thought of joining the Army before Hubby did, back when were were just friends. I’m glad I didn’t, though, and I wouldn’t consider it at this point. I don’t know how they handle it. One spouse in the military is hard enough!
2. What is your idea of a perfect Sunday afternoon?
   I love lazy Sunday afternoons. Naps on Sundays after church are very nice.
3. What do you usually do for the 4th of July holiday?
   I don’t have a “usual” any more, and I actually don’t have any plans for this year! I don’t feel like fighting the traffic on post to go to the fireworks and carnival thing, and I don’t feel like driving to see family. I will probably make a pizza and watch the fireworks from my backyard.
4. If they could make an Olympic event JUST for you that you know you’d medal in, what would it be?
   Seriously? I don’t think I could medal in anything! I’d say crocheting or cooking or singing, but I’m not an expert at any of those things. Besides, I’m not very competitive.
5. What have you been doing to get yourself bathing suit ready for the summer?
   I may be overweight, but I’m already bathing-suit-ready. I love swimming, and I’ve never let my weight stop me. I just haven’t gotten many opportunities to swim yet this summer!

I apologize for disappearing for a couple weeks, yet again. I keep intending to write, and then I just put it off. Shame on me.

Enjoy a comic made by Hubby in Iraq! It’s based on a game called Tibia. (I used to call Tibia a graphical MUD, but it’s also kind of an MMORPG…) Click to enlarge.

I just have to say it. I hate dishes. I hate them so much. The world would be a better place without the need to wash dirty dishes. The sad thing? I have a dishwasher! In fact, I’ve always had a dishwasher (from age 10 onward, pretty much)! And yet I still hate dishes. This is why you will find my sink constantly filling up with piles of dirty dishes.

I make resolutions. From NOW ON I’m going to empty the dishwasher as soon as it’s done and put all my dishes in there as I use them. Then all I have to do is press start when it’s full! Or I look up tips online for how to make the chore easier. Does any of it help? No. I still hate dishes.

I blame my upbringing. I mean, there’s just no other explanation! Dishes aren’t that bad, when you really think about it! In fact, though unloading the dishwasher feels like a huge task, it usually takes less than 5 minutes from start to finish! So my dread of it and disdain is really unfounded. It’s silly! But I can’t help it, and it must be because when I was a pre-teen and teenager, I had two main responsibilities. Dishes and lawn-mowing. And now? I hate them both.

Thankfully, I only very rarely have to mow the lawn, now that I have a big strong husband (and, when he’s gone, a big strong lawn-service-guy).

But dishes still fall to me. They fell to me when I lived with my parents, when I lived with my sister, when I lived alone, when I lived with a roommate, and now that I live with my hubby. And that has to be it. That has to be why I can’t stand them – simply because they’ve always been my job, and the job began to grate on me.

So how do I conquer this? Really, I figure someone must have a word or two of advice! (But don’t tell me to put it on Hubby’s chore list, because I’ve already thought of that )

Wife of a Sailor hosts this weekly meme for military spouse bloggers. I participated twice before, and I can’t remember why I stopped! It’s fun, and I’d like to try it out again! Here are today’s questions…

(Click to see previous Fill-Ins)

1. When you vacation what type of vacation do you like to take (beach, historic, adventurous, food oriented, etc.)?
   
   I am always, always up for a beach vacation. I’ve never lived near a beach, but when I was younger I would visit my dad in the summers, and we would spend a weed or two in Florida fishing off the pier and fishing/swimming at the beach – sometimes watching the July 4th fireworks there. I love the ocean!
2. What is your best memory associated with a song (you know we all have tons!)

   My first ever real date was with my now-Hubby while he was on leave during his second deployment. We had an amazing night in Ft. Worth, TX, starting with sushi (my first time!), and ending with a moon-lit carriage ride around the city and a sweet drink at a jazz bar. In the middle of all that, we went to a concert to see Alpha Rev, a band we’d never heard of before but ended up absolutely loving. Every time I hear the song American Jesus I remember that night and how perfect it was. (No, it’s not a Christian song. I actually don’t know what it’s about. Ask my Hubby.)

3. If you had six months with no obligations or financial constraints, what would you do with your time?
   
   Well, would my husband also have no obligations? I think we would probably make a trip to Australia and then go tour around Europe for a while. Have a very lengthy second honeymoon! lol This probably sounds rather selfish of me, but I’ve been so long without him, I really can’t think of any less selfish ambitions I’d want to focus on! Maybe finding/buying some land and building a house? Can you do that in 6 months?
4. What is one thing about you that people do NOT typically notice at first that you wish they would?
   
   The only thing that really comes to mind is… when people meet me, they ask what I do. And somehow I always end up sounding really pathetic, and they’re not sure what to say. I wish people could recognize that even without a day job and without being a student, I still keep busy and I still have a brain. I “do” lots of stuff! In fact, right now I’m finding myself slightly overcommitted with my various goals… I’m studying one book with my Sunday school class, another book in another Bible study at church, another book with a different group, plus I’m doing my daily Bible study, and I’m reading various marriage books and novels, managing our finances, trying to become a better housekeeper, trying to potty train my cat (still!) and grow various plants and stay active!

5. It’s a summer of sequels, and if you had to live in one of each of the following “worlds” (there are three total) which would you choose and why? 
   –X-Men: Be a Mutant, what would your power be?
   –Harry Potter: Be a Witch or Muggle?
   –Twilight: Be a Vampire or Werewolf?

   Obviously I would be a witch in the Harry Potter world. That one interests me most. To actually live around vampires? I don’t think I’d like that…

I’ve been thinking all year that I wish I had specific things to post on specific days, but I’ve had trouble thinking of topics to use for that. Well, now I’ve been inspired by my buddy Lisa at The Army Chaplain’s Wife. Interestingly, I’m feeling pretty grumpy today, so it’s probably a good time to write about things for which I’m thankful!

To start with, I’m thankful for this idea! Thanks, Lisa!

I am thankful for Psalm 91:14-16:

“Because he holds fast to me in love, [says the Lord], I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

I’m also thankful for the on-post lawn service – despite the fact that yesterday they left a note on my door saying they couldn’t mow my backyard because my gate was blocked (which it was not). They still save me what would be a lot of trouble of going down to the garden center, renting a mower, lifting it into and out of my trunk, putting it together to mow, doing the actual mowing and edging… What a blessing for the Army to provide that service while Hubby is deployed!

I’m thankful also for my Hubby who longs to be able to be with me and comfort me when I’m having a bad day. He doesn’t want to avoid me; he loves me at my worst. Thank you, Honey!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Birdy successfully distracted me from obsessing over the approach of R&R, and before I knew it Hubby was home and meeting Birdy himself. They took to each other right away. Birdy seemed to bring a sort of balance to R&R that might not have otherwise been there. We were unable to be too far away from him, as he was still dependent on me for feedings while he was learning to peck at seeds and drink water on his own, but we were still able to doo all the fun things we wanted to do. The only thing that got left out of R&R was something that would have cost us a large amount of money, and we weren’t so disappointed to pass up that opportunity, when it came right down to it. Birdy held us together. He brought us joy in the mornings as we fed him and in the evenings before bed. Hubby knew that sometimes, if I was tired and cranky, all I needed was a little dose of Birdy’s love to cheer me up. We even took Birdy on walks and took him in the backyard to fly. He kept us company at home as we played on the Xbox or watched movies. We were, in fact, looking forward to keeping him and having him around for a good 15-20 years.

However, Birdy’s story has somewhat of a bittersweet ending.

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Job 1:21b (ESV)

The day Hubby left to fly back to Iraq, Birdy also left to fly away and make his own life. The Lord gave him to us for just a short time to meet needs in Birdy’s life and in ours. I was able to give him warmth and shelter and car when he needed it to survive, and before he left he learned to eat seeds on his own and drink water, to preen and to fly, and then he apparently no longer needed my mothering. I pray that he stays safe, and I grieve for the fact that he probably won’t live as long in the wild as he would in my home, but he is where he wants to be. And he is as much in God’s hands now as he was the day I found him weak and hungry, as much as the day he vomited and I was sure he was dying. The Lord has Birdy in His hands. And as I put seeds out in the backyard daily, I sometimes catch a glimpse of this one mourning dove who likes to return alone and peck around. I’m pretty sure it’s Birdy, stopping by for Mom’s free food.

This is our last picture together, just minutes before Birdy left the “nest.”

(Click for videos: Birdy Got Lost | Trying to Fly)
(Sadly, we didn’t take videos of Birdy during R&R, and I intended to start taking videos again when Hubby left, but I ran out of time, so all the videos we have are of his younger days)