What do you see when you look at the world? Do you dwell on the most hopeful aspects of life and expect mostly positive outcomes? Do you wake up thinking, “This is going to be a good day!” like many of my friends? Or… do you wake up thinking, “I don’t know about this day. There’s a lot that could go wrong.” Maybe, like me, you tend to have a more gloomy outlook.

In other words, are you an optimist or a pessimist? If you’re one of the latter, don’t be too concerned, because honestly I think I’m the most negative person I know.

Rose-Colored Glasses

When I think of rose-colored glasses, I think of an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch I watched when I was probably in Jr. High. In order to blind someone to the nasty truth, Sabrina cast a spell and put these glasses with pink lenses on someone else who then saw everything in a positive light. That’s a cute way to look at it, but of course it’s not very realistic, seeing as how that kind of magic doesn’t exist.

I don’t know anyone with rose-colored glasses, but I know some people with rose-colored eyes. Or maybe it’s their brains? I’m not sure. The difference is that the optimists I know don’t put on glasses in the morning and choose to only see the positive. They just DO. That’s just how they (and maybe you) think, without trying. And most of us face the same reality, see the same things – but we perceive it in different ways.

Glass Half Empty

A negative person deals with a constant struggle, both within and without. Believe me, I know from experience. This person must carefully balance how much to tell others: tell too much, too often, and not only do the others tire of hearing it, but the person may also feel guilty for pulling others down to his level; tell too little, and the person realizes he’s being dishonest, maybe even shallow, and may feel as if his friends really only like him for the front he puts up.

Those who are positive also face a dilemma. Do you remain friends with someone once you discover a negative or pessimistic attitude? How much time are you willing to spend with this friend, and how much can you listen to before it starts to drag you down?

Dealing With Each Other

How does one deal with negative friends? It requires patience, love, and sometimes gently reminding your friends that they are only looking at the negative side of things. Simpler than you might think, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s easy.

As far as handling negativity in yourself, I have a few suggestions that I think apply whether you’re negative sometimes, most of the time, or all of the time.

1. Accept your feelings but not your thoughts. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I don’t think it’s healthy to tell yourself not to feel a certain way. It’s okay to feel like there’s no hope. However, it’s not okay to sit there and tell yourself over and over that it’s true. Try to reform your thinking habits. Tell yourself you can’t predict the future, and it could very well turn out better than you thought. If necessary, distract yourself with something else. When trying to break a habit, rather than telling yourself not to do such-and-such, which causes you to constantly think about it, change your focus to something else. Then you’re more likely to forget about whatever it was.

2. Thank others for listening. If you have friends who love you and are kind enough to listen to you rant sometimes, be sure to thank them for listening. It can hurt to open yourself up to someone else’s complaints and receive nothing for your efforts except to be expected to do it again and again. Sometimes we just need people to listen, and if our friends are meeting that need, they deserve gratitude, if not more.

3. Try to see the lighter side. After venting, if your friend tries to tell you how they see it, don’t shut your friend out just because his outlook is different. Try to see it from his eyes. Even if you don’t agree.

4. Recognize and seek out truth. Your thoughts aren’t necessarily reflective of the truth. They are truly your thoughts, but you aren’t omnipotent; no one is. Rather than dwelling on your feelings and thoughts, dwell on what you know to be truth. The best source is, of course, the Bible.

So, Thanks

I want to publically thank all of my friends for dealing with me and listening to me rant as often as they do. I do appreciate it, and I’m grateful to you all. I’ve struggled with negativity, some times more than others, for most of my life, but I’ve also been on the other side of the fence. And I know that it can be hard. Thank you! I love you guys!

Now, quick, what are you thoughts? Which group do you fall into? Do you have any suggestions for how to deal with someone who sees things in a more negative – or more positive – light than you do?