I hope everyone had a good Father’s Day yesterday! I did, actually. I spent it with my step-father and mother, who were in town visiting for a few days. This made the first Father’s Day I’ve actually spent with him since they moved away from Texas.

My Father Figures

My mom remarried when I was thirteen, and in my mind, I was pretty much raised and practically full-grown. For years, John was my mother’s husband, but to me personally he wasn’t really anything. I noticed that Mom seemed to have a lot of time for him and not as much for me, so for some time I resented that. During my more rebellious times, there were decisions made by the two of them that I blamed fully on him rather than equally on him and my mom, and that made me resent him more.

But now I’m just grateful.

There was no one else in my life acting as the sort of father figure and male role model that I needed to see. John was more firm with me than my mother probably would have been, alone, and he had a right to be so! He cared about me from the time they got married, and I know now what I couldn’t always see, then – that he did so many things for me out of love, even though neither of us said “I love you” until sometime within the last few years. And now, as I’ve matured enough that he doesn’t have to try to keep me from hurting myself, I’m learning to enjoy our relationship even more. I’m so glad to have him!

My grandfather is the other father figure in my life. He took me to the parks when I was little and played Pocahontas with my friends and me in the woods. He taught me about birds, trees, and constellations. He was the one to teach me how to whistle through my hands in that way that sounds like a dove call, and he was the one so proud of the pig-latin-type language I made up as a child. My father wasn’t there to do those things with me, but Grampa was.

Now that I’m older, Grampa is still a special person in my life. He helped me get my first car and is always willing to step in at times when I need a father’s reassurance or advice. He was one of the key people whose approval I wanted when I was getting married. My husband and I long to spend more time with him and glean what wisdom we can from him.

My Dad

In many ways, my dad was less of a dad for me than the others. But I still honor him on Father’s Day. He isn’t perfect, but he’s my dad. God knew… everything that would happen in my life, and God still demands that I respect my parents.

When I was three, they divorced, and Dad moved away. But every summer when I was young, he was the one who paid to have me fly out to visit him. He taught me to fish, to bait a hook, to love the ocean. He taught me about a different kind of love between man and wife than I would have learned at home. He has taught me that you must make hard decisions in life and then live with the consequences. He has taught me that faith and perseverance can sustain you through many trials. And though he wasn’t here to get to know me and my husband, his sentiments during a phone call when I told him we were dating, and then engaged, were worth as much to me as my Grampa’s approval and John’s willingness to walk me down the aisle.

My Husband

My husband doesn’t get a father’s day card yet, but I’m so happy that he is the man who will be Dad and Father Figure to our children. From the good examples on his side of the family, Hubby has become someone I deeply respect. I have confidence in him to be a great father, and I’m excitedly anticipating the year that I can also give him a tribute!